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The Refiner's Fire Burns

Updated: Mar 14

The refiner’s fire burns. It is not fun to become something that you have never been before, even though it may be purposeful in the middle and gratifying in the end. It is still hard.

The last weeks and months have tested and expanded my capacity; physically, mentally, emotionally, in relationships… many days all at once.

I am grateful for it. It is my goal and conscious intention to be better tomorrow than I am today. And I know that growth requires getting out of your comfort zone, but the idea is very different than the reality. It is startling to look over your shoulder and see your “comfort zone” a mile behind you with no way to go but forward.

Be. Do. Have. In that order. The BEing a new expanded version of yourself, at first, is the painful part. Letting go of previous ways of thinking and behaving that you thought were pretty great parts of you… but realizing they no longer fit with the leveled up version you are stepping into. It shakes the identity- your view of who you are. Getting humbled, being exhausted and still moving ahead, thinking you are at your end of ability but still taking a few more steps because you haven’t collapsed yet and you still can. Driven forward by sheer force of will.

I am very grateful for all I learn from conditioning the physical body- the exact words above I’m sure have been spoken by athletes that do hard things. The metaphors of physical strength inspire me and help me see that they carry over to other areas of life- and that physical strength helps beget mental strength.

And while I may be far from “comfortable”, I do still have a Comforter. God is my Strength. And through tight, painful situations, when I pause to receive it, there is yet a sense of high level peace that overshadows all of the daily pressures and the times that it is hard to see the way through.

The process is hard. And it’s beautiful. And it’s perfect because God made it that way. I share this because I’ve been told I don’t do “vulnerable” enough, and I don’t want anyone under the illusion that everything is smooth sailing for me just because the majority of what I post is positive. If I share my successes it’s only fair to share about the struggles too so that when you encounter yours, you know you are normal… and even on the right track. Everyone is challenged. Now you know a little more about what that looks like for me behind the scenes.

I can’t wait to see what we become on the other side.

We are Infinite.


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